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Dress code for a pajama party - Houston Chronicle

Dear Miss Manners:

Could you speak to the etiquette of costume party dress?

I’ve been invited to a party for adults with a “Christmas pajama contest.” It’s a church group of relatively close acquaintances and friends.

I assume that about 75 percent of the people will come in their pajamas or a “traditional” Christmas pajamas look; however, a few people are not participating (based on online RSVP messages).

What do you think? Is it proper to come in your pajamas — whatever they might be? Or should the “red onesie with reindeer” be the goal? And in general, are there standards of dress that supersede any costume party dictums?

Gentle Reader:

Yes: One must be fully clothed.

As it is a church group, Miss Manners is assuming that this is implicit. But she has been fooled before — and the precarious closure on the back of that onesie is just asking for trouble.

However, this is also a contest, so it is likely that most attendees will not be wearing what they wore to bed the previous night. That is both a blessing and not.

Festive but sturdy cotton or flannel pajamas seem safe. Just know that you will likely be competing with electrified Christmas wreaths and inexplicably sexy yule logs.

Dear Miss Manners:

I work as a nanny and really enjoy the family I work for. I do not own a car and commute almost exclusively with my bicycle, which is therefore very precious to me.

Unfortunately, the other day, Baby’s papa was doing some home projects and left the garage door open, and my lovely bicycle was stolen. Today Mama and Papa gave me a sum of money nearly equivalent to the original cost of my lost property and apologized for their carelessness.

This was very generous and will help me get back on the road soon, but I am wondering what my obligation is in thanking them. I am usually very good about writing formal thank-you notes for gifts, but since this was a reimbursement for an accident and not a gift, one part of me thinks my verbal thanks is enough and we can leave it at that.

On the other hand, I love this job and these people, and not everyone would have been so generous in their apologies (or even apologized at all!). I would, of course, love to show my appreciation. Can you help me out with this one?

Gentle Reader:

What a relief. Miss Manners was fully expecting you to tell her that Papa’s reaction was more like, “It’s my garage door and I should be able to open it whenever I like!”

She is pleased to see that all parties are behaving civilly and that you are only asking how to make the situation even better.

As the transgression was on the part of the family, a profound verbal thank-you is fine, and a written one not strictly necessary. However, an abundance of gratitude, as well as the reinforcement of gracious and proper behavior, is never remiss, and this is an opportunity to tell your employers how much you value them.

Dear Miss Manners:

My supervisor came into our office today and began describing to my co-worker, who is also a friend of hers, her intimate encounter with her husband the night before, including frequency, locations and method.

Now, I am a senior lady, married for many decades and hardly a prude. But I was very dismayed by their conversation, and it is not the first time this has happened. I was a captive audience, as it is not possible for me to leave my office.

I need the job and have no desire to irritate anyone by making disparaging remarks.

What can I say or do to extricate myself from having to listen to these conversations and, by my silence, perhaps inadvertently signal my approval of them?

Gentle Reader:

It is time to remind the participants that these days, such stories can be misunderstood and result in everyone’s being called into Human Resources for harassment training — or worse.

Miss Manners intends you to say that the misunderstanding will be someone else’s, while implying that the someone else might be too nearby to proceed with safety.

Visit Miss Manners at.missmanners.com, where you can send her you questions.

Andrews McMeel Syndication

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https://www.houstonchronicle.com/life/article/Dress-code-for-a-pajama-party-14905704.php

2019-12-14 06:00:00Z
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